Allie’s Story

My journey to becoming a Super Mom was the most difficult thing I’ve ever experienced. They say love happens when you least expect it, and (wow!) they were right. In the spring of 2019, lightning struck when I serendipitously met someone who I was ready to share the rest of my life with. We were perfect together, but it was too soon to talk about having a family as we were taking things slow. If life is what happens when you’re busy making plans, well, life happened… the stick turned blue.

What I envisioned to be my “happily ever after” with the man of my dreams became my worst nightmare when he refused to take any responsibility and left. I never imagined anyone could do such a horrible thing, especially the man I considered to be ‘The One’. I was forced to go through my pregnancy all on my own and my broken heart. I went to doctor appointments, day care tours, child birth classes, and ‘expecting parents’ meetings, all on my own. I was the only one pregnant without a partner. I could see the look of confusion across people’s faces, as they wondered where my partner was. I wondered, too. Every day I prayed my partner would do the right thing and show up. He never did.

It was, and still is, impossible to comprehend how anyone could do such a thing. I never felt greater sadness, loneliness, heartbreak, and disappointment. I felt like I was left in a deep, dark ditch waiting to die alone. The strength I needed to go through each day seemed impossible. My heart broke every day in new ways, especially each time I’d say I was going to be a single mother, as it slowly became a reality. I felt like nobody could begin to understand my pain and suffering, not even other women with children and mothers-to-be. My friends have always said I’m the strongest person they know, but for the first time I didn’t think I had the strength to endure this. Even if I did, I was exhausted. I wanted to give up. I almost did.

Ever since my partner left, I suffered from major depression from the cruelty and inhumanity I experienced. It didn’t help being in the third trimester of my pregnancy when New York City went into lockdown due to covid-19, and I endured months of isolation all on my own. I went into labor at the peak of the pandemic in New York City, alone without my (ex)partner, friends, or family. To say I was terrified would be an understatement. I dreaded the idea of something happening to me or my daughter, and never having the peace in my heart I deserved or the opportunity to say, “Thank you,” “I’m sorry,” or “I love you”.

I welcomed the most beautiful baby girl to this crazy world at the same time Spring made the first flowers bloom, but the circumstances surrounding my experience lead to the worst major postpartum depression and trauma I ever imagined. The pain in my heart was so unbearable there were days I thought would be my last. I looked for answers everywhere, and looked for support from anywhere. It was hard for people to understand what I was going through, so building a support network who understood my situation, and reaching out for help, saved my life. Thankfully, I have the most amazing friends who were there for me, and I found support groups of mothers and single mothers with women I could relate to. I’ll always be grateful for the kindness and compassion I received from family, friends, neighbors, and strangers. To all of you: THANK YOU.

I’m grateful to say I’ve made it through thanks to all the love and support I received. After everything I experienced, I decided to stop referring to myself as a single mom, and started calling myself and all single moms ‘Super Moms’, as we must face and overcome incredible challenges every day on our own. I started Super Moms to pay-it-forward to all the amazing single mothers who shared their stories, reached out, and supported me in the toughest days, and to help empower every woman who finds herself in a journey to becoming a Super Mom. If this is you: Know you are not alone and you are stronger than you’ll ever imagine.

I still take each day one day at a time, making every moment of every day count with my baby girl. She is the light of my life, she gave my heart new life, and makes every day extra special. We are anything but ordinary; we are a dream team and have so much fun together no matter what we do. My home is filled with love and we share our happiness with each other. Despite the heart-breaking circumstances that were set upon me, every day I’m grateful I’ve received such a blessing in my life. Her smile brightens my whole world and I can’t imagine my life without her. As difficult as my journey has been to become a Super Mom, I’d do it all over again a million times for her. Love you, baby girl!

I want to give special thanks to:
Carmen, Gaby, Desiree, Rafa, Anke, Betinna, Jenny, Rob, Linda, Alex, Gemma, Faye, Inese, Juan, Evie, Sev, Rachel, Kim, Daniel, The Motherhood Center, friends and neighbors, and most of all, my mom for being there for me. Thank you.